Dear fellow Mommies:
You wouldn’t be seeing any photos on my post today. This no-visuals effect is deliberate. There is something in my son CJ’s case that needs to be addressed more urgently than his K2 medal. Just as importantly, I know you can read and I will appreciate it if you take a moment to read some info:
Pervasive developmental disorder (PDD) is characterized by delays in the development of socialization and communication skills. Symptoms may include problems with using and understanding language; difficulty relating to people, objects, and events; unusual play with toys and other objects; difficulty with changes in routine or familiar surroundings, and repetitive body movements or behavior patterns. Children with PDD vary widely in abilities, intelligence, and behaviors. Some children do not speak at all, others speak in limited phrases or conversations, and some have relatively normal language development. Repetitive play skills and limited social skills are generally evident. NIMH
The phrases I highlighted are issues evident in CJ’s development. The first clinical impression did not differ at all from results of my own research – selective mutism. CJ’s developmental pediatrician wrote the exact same words on the clinical report. This year the new diagnosis, PDD tagged new recommendations to see a psychologist, a speech therapist and an occupational therapist.
Remember that purple ATM card featured on my post for the purple theme we had two weeks ago? Now you know the color was just coincidence and it was not flaunted for vanity. Financing a child’s developmental issues is the purpose of that card I wish I never had to be involved with. But I am trying to be brave here as I am doing this alone.
So do I ask, “why me, why my son, God?” or “why is CJ’s Dad NOT willing to pitch in?” Nope. My question is “Dear God, what am I supposed to do next?”
And God in His infinite capacity to be cool answers me before I could even send the next funds for CJ’s therapy sessions. My mother sent a long text on CJ’s progress:
-on a niece’s cooing baby, CJ observes, “She smiles.”
-pointing at an altar in a clothes shop, “Jesus is over there.”
-response to his Lola’s “where is Jesus?,” “There on the wall.”
-last night before falling asleep, “I want to ride a halicopter. Mommy will sleep here?”
Each day brings a new hope, new anticipation and a new resolve to learn continually and improve. Thanks for reading. I welcome your thoughts.
Next time I harass myself with cares, I will remember the bright days I usually wake up to, the dread of commute which I do not have to experience because workplace is just a stone’s throw away, the son who has improved so much since being diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder, the beautiful places I have been to such as this field of sunflowers which took my breath away….
Stasia Desiderata 