Stasia Desiderata

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Stasia Desiderata

Tag Archives: Hong Kong

The prerequisite

02 Friday Sep 2011

Posted by Hazel Anastasia in Uncategorized

≈ 6 Comments

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Facebook, Hong Kong

“This pair is 14K, Dad. With the pants, it costs 16K.”

That is a 14-year old teen tagging his Dad a pair of racing shoes that he wants.

While I am fond of this kid I flinch as I imagine myself in his Dad’s literal shoes.  The kid obviously has no idea that his demand costs almost as much as a mid-level Philippine employee’s salary for a month.

If that was my CJ I would be inclined to say “I’d help you find a part-time job at Jollibee or something.” But my mother instinct pokes my gut. Yes I can buy it but…. NO!

There is no way I am parting with 16K for shoes and pants that will be seldom used. Heck, I could hardly grasp “k” next to a number to save my life.

So when should values of working, earning, saving and enjoying life be instilled in our kids’ cute heads? Fourteen years old and yet clueless about some of life’s hard realities is rather late. But not too late either. Children had better realize early on that money is not conjured by a flick of a ladle.  WORK is prerequisite.

Divorce has changed my circumstances.  I said goodbye to CJ’s trust fund the moment I signed those papers.  CJ has been stripped of any support from his Dad.  I have been trying to practice a few things while staying out of debt since having to raise CJ on my own:

  • Deposit CJ’s savings on the same day I receive my salary.
  • Recently I have been eyeing mutual funds in his name as well.
  • Hide the ATM card.
  • Avoid malls like the plague.

Except fine dining which I still do now and then, I have cut back on holidays abroad as well as scientific and artistic entertainment. With a major revision in my mental set up and self-imposed discipline, I learned to navigate my way around limitations and deprivations.  It was difficult, but I did not die.

For lessons in compassion, I put cash in CJ’s hand and let him give it to a beggar himself.  In church what he drops into the offering bag is often at par with the worth of the gadgets he gets for good behavior.

The sooner kids are made aware that (unless they are heirs of some business empire) money is to be earned, the sooner we may cease to be subjected to the horror of outrageously expensive items.

In Victoria Peak last year CJ threw an award-winning tantrum. Reason? I was slow in buying him a 100-HKD Ultraman that he spotted in a toy shop. Embarrassed, I gave in. But I swore I would clean up that act as soon as the last tear on his face dried up.

Now he pauses before whining every time he is reminded that Mom is away working so he can eat and go to school.

Financial tips at the Mommy Journey

From the fields

07 Friday Jan 2011

Posted by Hazel Anastasia in Uncategorized

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Angkor, Angkor Wat, Cambodia, Germany, Hong Kong, Khmer Rouge, Killing Fields, Phnom Penh

Host Susanne at Living to Tell the Story describes Friday’s Fave Five as “time to take a look over our week, recall blessings great and small and pick our five favorites to share.”

The company of a friend. Being alone makes me extra grateful for exactly that. It is not nice to meet the new year or any other important celebration all by oneself. I am glad I had someone who happens to be in the same circumstances as I do – single, no immediate family nearby.  We splurged on fine dining, 5-star entertainment and a weekend getaway to a quiet beach resort over the new year.

“Take lots of liquid.”  It is one statement that would have meant nothing if I saw or heard it from where ever while struggling with a cold.  But it came from someone who has become special to me these past weeks.  I would not exchange this little show of caring for all the luxury moments I had at Grand Hyatt, Intercontinental and Hilton last weekend.

Angkor Wat. The world’s largest religious site is virtually right down my backyard. For 13 years it seemed like I took the close proximity for granted because although I always wanted to visit, I never had the company, and I am not adventurous enough to go alone. Finally last week, friends organized a trip there with former professors.  I had mixed feelings observing good, old teachers take the ‘back stage and this time, let former students dominate the talking‘ during the travel.

Forgetting an envelope with leftover cash from my Hong Kong trip.  The time was perfect to have remembered it contained wads of US dollar bills to pay for the Cambodia trip.

Learning. We proceeded to Phnom Penh after the awe and grandeur of Angkor to see the Killing Fields.  Khmer Rouge stunned me to the bones and gave me second thoughts on visiting Germany’s Dachau camp one of these days. But I am grateful to learn that there ought to be more compassion for the living and respect for the memory of those who wanted to live but did not have the chance.

Tourists waiting to meet sunrise at Angkor

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